Tuesday, August 16, 2011

PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals

I've been working on an idea to pitch to a major motion picture studio.

Two kitten friends hike across Europe. While they are experiencing a world of naughty freedom in the wild, they find out about an undocumented animal shelter filled with cat nip.

Once there, they are captured and forced to make an obscene amount of outrageously cute YouTube videos in the basement of the shelter. They are adored so much that they can barely stand it. In the meantime, the broader human world is domesticated and emasculated. Adult men stop eating rabbits and start eating carrots. No more pork, but these men roll around in sour milk pig slop to show their solidarity with their porcine brethren.

Should horror and gore films exist? Only if we can move past our sacred kitten religions and start watching some extended kitten torture scenes. This would all be simulated, of course, just like human torture in the movies is now simulated. No one is endorsing the actual torture of any living creature. We're only advocating for our unqualified right to enjoy simulated acts of torture against kittens as much as against humans.

Anyhow, here's the trailer:


brando said...

smarty pants

Matt said...

Seriously John, where do you get this stuff.
This women is clearly quite disturbed. It really begs the question though. How, I mean HOW, can a person go to Villanova, get an MBA, and graduate, but still not have control over her emotions. Er, um, ya, she dun got edumacated.